The wanderings of a mature Trannie,lost in Stockings.

Sunday 19th February 2017.
I sometimes wonder...or should i say each day..should i keep this old girl on the road keep the scribbles rolling along in cyber-space do i wish thousands would read this, is my vanity fooling in living in such hope or is it simply there for passing people from the planet ponder over why some males willingly dress up in real ladies themselves sissy's when in fact society really wants John Wayne look-a-likes.
Or is it a place to come and ponder why the lust for Brown is always in the back ground..keeping it caged away in some dark corner of the mind is at times so very hard i could quite easily in one lust throw away the key...however the mind is always dangerous when left on its own in such thoughts perhaps best to let it out now and then...i recall when trying to punch away the sissy inside me by bundling up all my clothes and burying them in a dark wood when i was a teenager thinking that would solve the urge to dress as a women..yet only to feel the urge to dress even more demanding growing each day...better to accept being a transvestite than fighting such a red riding hood..
Perhaps then i should stop fighting this blank screen and simply BE.....

Wednesday 11th January 2017.
There was a time when i almost lived on public bus service routes the joy of sitting there starring at the world dreaming of this and that was a pleasant past journeys this crazy modern world this is no longer true unless you hide under a seat and peer at peoples foot wear in an ordinary fashion...For perhaps the second time in twelve months i climbed on a bus this morning, half awake half a sleep perhaps thinking of a huge real cock, i placed my fare on the wrong place the driver was not a happy bunny pointing to the right place and muttering a few words....thankfully his cock did not appeal to me and i shyly took my ticket and shrank into a chair....starring out at the still dark city streets i wondered is life real today or simply plastic...Should i have said so sorry old transvestites can be sloppy this hour of the morning..i wonder if he would have grunted spat at the glass..or simply stood up and took out his cock..the world will never know and i am glad tonight i have sat before this machine once more....

Monday 2nd January 2017.
My aim for this coming to come and find myself here before these keys at least twice a laugh giggle perhaps be serious with my self perhaps reflect also the fact i have been a transvestite for most of my life walking this planet.
I think to always ask myself quite why i became..drifted or simply born into being a transvestite is something not to pause along for any great depth...perhaps the drift into the Sissy mould on life is something to ponder quite why i like to be dominated i find strange especially when i consider my mother...a word i shy away from, even the person too, my feelings about her are unsure..i don't recall ever looking through her wardrobe as a child nor a wish to try her clothes on...i have read one or two stories from transvestites where their mother was a heavy influence...if i have to say anything..i think perhaps her coldness could have a jot to explain it...if i compare her to my aunt of which whom i did try on some of her clothes and perhaps ashamedly snip through her wardrobe when i was around my late teens....the warmth softness of her clothes on my young skin was perhaps the beginning.
As for my sexual appetite..that is one big group of Cadburys Chocolate snowmen to contemplate one i have bitten off the heads of far to many this festive season..perhaps because i imagined the taste as if real mens cum something i have hungered after this past year but not done much about seeking it out....and when so desperate i have tasted my own milk...
I have also increased my wardrobe and found clothes hidden away i had almost forgotten about..i like to roam around charity shops and my big wish is to stop saying i am buying for a friend..etc...with any other excuse which floats into my head at the moment...for it is far easier these days to buy with a smile than when i first started buy clothes..i can still recall the picture on the sales ladies face when i bought my first panties...the sheer horror or disgust could have broken glass.
Therefore we shall see what this year brings i can only say and wish my self luck with a handbag full of vanity oh and of coarse a kiss..

Sunday 1st January 2017.
Dreadful...are amongst my thoughts on this first day of the year 2017 for leaving this space as blank as snow..or simply the texture Cum another subject i have been neglecting this past year...A lazy slob in stockings..not the finest show to be thought of as i sit here and wonder why i have not tripped through the keys...if i remind myself what was the purpose of why i tripped the light fantastic to make hay with this blank screen.
Much has to be thought tangled bra straps and black panties....cabbages cannot be found under dark rocks plastic plates come in all sizes time can be made so it should..sissy needs it as the new year opens let me make it a delightful one if not for myself but Sissy whom rests hides within this skin being a transvestite is not a sin.

Sunday 6th November 2016.
Half dressed half naked...i greet the morning i need a shave to remove various pubic hairs Winter is always the same the big bad word Lazy creeps into the mind slut bitch whom ever i am tinkers with such forms....putting things deeds on the back burners the word tomorrow is such a long time i have not sucked cock for so long now...Lazy head in this respect is endless....Sissy pages on get life hold my attention for short gasps..with thoughts i could do that...ohhhh...i am doing that...dressing is becoming more habit forming to the point where wearing any male clothes is rather stark with a big no rolling around the crazy streets bundled across my mind...
The streets are quiet the darkness still creeps along the side some small shopping as i approach another birthday with more wrinkles thoughts of being to old to still be wearing fem clothes strutting the transvestite stance come go day..the lure of pulling on stockings has never left me..this week has been wrapped in a black tight suspender girdle..the feelings crunch my small clitty and sadly or should i confess the feeling is tremendous with each walking winter begins its onslaught i have added a non wired bra to my comfort zone gives myself a buzz on butterfly wings as i trundle through the streets half fem yet hiding away from the world can make one feel an elephant under the wing.....

Tuesday 1st November 2016.
Gosh where have i been..what stockings have i been hiding in, have the rampant fox goblins eaten well into my pussy have i inserted the largest dildo made my mankind making my eyes water so badly i have failed to sit here and scribble one word during October..tut tut..punishment is a thousand pegs on flesh if only, such yummy, However time to scratch my head and feed my mind and sort out some such reason and habit forming motion to stray here....

Sunday 18th September 2016.
My first week back in the work saddle is panties and myself coped rather well considering the massive protest this complicated body gave each day as muscles which have been sleeping for the past eight weeks were once more alarmed in having to pull on work uniform and those tramping black work boots....Today...i have began to unpack my trinkets i picked up along the way bought one or two purses to hold make up in, some cheap trinket bracelets i can wear and get away with if i wear male clothing...glad i made the effort to pick up some new sissy panties...this week was simply panties and over the knee socks..going to move back into stockings and suspenders as the cold winds was good to see my fem friend at work a short time in small talk...really helps when one can talk about being a for cock..well this winter i think i should make the effort to find a real one full of hot cum for i miss it fantasy can only do so much and dildo's although fabulous at making one a size queen..which reminds me after eight weeks away better start to open my self up or i am never going to reach the girth i crave for....does not help spending time mooching around porn making myself milk in easing the desire which somehow haunts such as i each day however life is life and once growing into a sissy with a little help along the way i should suck it and see....

Sunday 11th September 2016.
I am after eight weeks tramping around the far east...i have arrived sissy self is so happy after wearing all that male clothing whilst travelling with companions for whom sissy has affection even though the sight of myself in bra and panties just might burst a few blood vessels had to be endured life is as they has been extremely hard not to pull on on some of the new panties i bought whilst away i have even left some male clothes behind thinking sod off....
It will take a few days to adjust to being back home whilst i sort out my sissy room and all the promises i made to my self whilst away and ponder on all that hot cock i had to simply stare at and simply not even a quiet time to milk myself...tut tut sissy...but hey kisses to me also...vanity what a word....

Thursday 11th August 2016.
For all that i joke about these dark dim Bug Huts with whirling fans and tiny dark cubicles i am very thankful that they are here. Giving me the time to talk to my inner Transvestite on these Islands they are simply known as Dings which is by far a simpler word...making me smile as i coarse through the day behind this male shield..the taboo for them here is not as vast as back home in Blighty...
The older become the more i don't give a toss...however best not in this sunshine away from the working saddle let me not dwell on such and enjoy the time away from my work panties and admire all these erotic far Eastern Cocks on view..even if i am not travelling on my own,where a sea of cum night not be to all bug huts i salute....

Thursday 4th August 2016.
I sit in a dark blast from the past internet bug hut thankfully air con is streaming under my feet...American blurting in the back ground..on how to use a power pressure cooker, this internet cafe is on the tiny island of Leyte Philippines...i am, i think on my last pilgrimage to this country of contrasts were beauty walks and litter blows in the wind..with litter growing as fast as abandoned buildings i used to think these small rural villages were utopia in the mad world...which for myself much of Europe has fallen into sadly...With myself i have brought plenty of reading matter mostly book reviews newspapers from the Saturday edition of the Guardian Newspaper...a large part of the reviews have mostly traveled down the out side the box Gay..Trans Transvestite as well as those whom do not fit into societies box of tricks...the most over powering message is how many of the writers are sadly no longer walking the planet and how sad their rich lives minds faded away...which mkes my life in panties quite tame....


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