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Sunday25th February 2018.

This Winter has almost eaten me...my thoughts have been mainly on moving through the day in some form of order where i have arrived sighed a heavy sigh in knowing i have made it through another winters day. I know the temps have not been super sub zero nor have i had to wade through six foot of snow.Simply feels that this winter has gone on forever each day simply bitter as the breeze eats into any bare skin open to the atmosphere.
Despite all this i do feel quite horny today perhaps simply for the word Sunday and thankfully this is the last one of the dreadful month of February. The one month i hide away even from myself.I know the sissy inside screams blue murder and i have treated her now and then alas i know it is not enough imagine if i knew back in my teens what i know feel now...i wonder where i would be now. Better not to have regrets simply make the best of what is in ones hands mind now...i do not want to be one of those rocking chair sissy's....thinking if only.

Sunday 7th January 2018.

Broken promises to myself have littered this past year....i had hoped to post this and that through the days months that slipped through my fingers given the odd shrug of always tomorrow cat landed around my mind, sometimes i sat here just far to incomplete to open the box to log on other times i simply vanished amongst the fishnets which cloud my soul...even the excuse of winter is extremely poor to shove down ones bra...perhaps i should role a dice to see if that works in making me sit here awhile and scribble..even the amount of transvestite porn shots i gaze at have simply slipped from my grasp..the saying i could look like that, or wow what an incredible mature slut..thinking i could dress like that has just been a cat flapper in the wind, as other things in life have punched a hole across my in box....stopping me form lingering here...
I have not tasted real mans cum..in simply ages so far back i have to drink my own milk just to remind me of the sheer taste of that cream i gag for each time i see a cock walk down the street i want it and more...
I have still been wearing my fem clothes and buying small bits and bobs and i do wear now mostly fem underwear at all times just to remind myself whom what i have developed into...i also sometimes think on my old Mistress and think now the time is nearing where time will be in bucket loads for me..should i dare drop her a line...but most of all i must must come back here for a while very soon..

Thursday 2nd November 2017.

Today i just had to appease the desire to slip something horny in the darkest of places..it has been far to long as usual since i ventured down that dark path..being a size queen does not help either...the sharpest gasp tonight made me promise myself not to leave the urge on boiling point so long again..if it was not for plenty of lube the night owl just might have heard me, there is for myself just something about being filled to the point when enough is not enough and large can go a tiny bit further.

Friday 27th October 2017.

I sit here in my panties and love me socks running thoughts through my mind, playing games amongst the crazy streets comforted by the garden wall i have built around them, over the years the games becoming more outrageous as time ticks along, do they now rule me, each cobbled street dressed in drag, or is it simply a being on its own...is that not also a soul against a gate which guards this fragile being.
Did i find the word Transvestite in an glass jar by such a gate or was it in one of those soft porn mags i used to buy as a youth an accidental stumble behind a curtain beyond the Mills and Boon wall to wall book shelves, the small room beyond the back of the book shop sadly no longer alive, opened up a world, i sometimes wonder what if i had not would i be me today..i suspect the shop is now a beauty nail shop...it does not stop me wondering about those days each time i am anywhere near the community it used to sit within....sometimes i sigh regarding those days when soft porn was an instant erection becoming an addiction as time passed, as i became aware of what a transvestite really was..i often wonder if other transvestites feel the same or has the new word crossdressers wiped us old tranny's to a far flung time warp. Where we perhaps sit and dribble tea.They say for whom the bell tolls...i do indeed wonder.

Thursday 26th October 2017.

Amongst the crazy street mix of my mind there must be a pinch to form a habit to linger across this page more than the few times i crawl here in stabbed panties maybe as a matter of interest or perhaps guilt...to many stone roses to many half eaten jelly babies perhaps block the view of this white screen...perhaps maybe a better word to open the gate for my tired old slut self...

Wednesday 24th October 2017.

Golly Gosh....where have i been..the roll of the panty dice must roll again....sleep will bring a new meaning or else..a swift end to bucket and spades....

Sunday 20th August 2017.

It has been that long in venturing this way, that i have sadly forgot my password when i tried to log on a small while ago. I had to faff about scribbling a new one and having to prove that i am indeed a transvestite rather than a robot though sometimes perhaps it could be better than the pulling on of stockings in the middle of summer.
Once more tis but the lazy sod in myself..it is a good job i change my panties far more often than i pass this way..each day i think on this blog with each day maybe tomorrow comes waving over the hill with ever big panties flying in the air. Perhaps if i tattooed my clitty..Maturetvslut that is of coarse if it fits on..might well wake me up more often...the real reason i suspect it the daily climbing up to the work horse day that squashes thoughts of sitting awhile to pour thoughts across this white blank space...perhaps if i thought of this screen as the colour of cum..i might just pant a bit more and scribble across this sea of cum..which today i would rather be surfing in..however life is life and there are chores to be done therefore i must drift away with another promise to sit here awhile...fingers clitty crossed that i might soon...

Monday 29th May 2017.

Not quite as soon as i wanted to return to sit awhile scribble here..time is a bug bear riding on the back of pink Elephants..which would probably make a sight worthy of this day should they be dressed as transvestites...which really means i need a shave on this Whit Monday morning to remove this male stubble of which slut waking up this morning has simply put up with it long enough she is screaming to get rid off extremely loud.
Summer is on the march as it is becoming far to hot to wear a bra under my work uniform my shirts are that old they are almost see through and thankfully i am nearing the time when i pull on my blue uniform for the last time...such thoughts are beginning to climb burst inside my head with a stardust of things i want to do in the opening year of wear blue no more. I quite fancy some bigger breasts a sort of tease to myself..that dream of having real ones is just that a dream. I have made a habit of mooching through charity shops for clothes picking up old jumpers and looking for wool dresses the odd slutty clothing passes through my fingers i feel this buzz be gin to grow my clitty begins to throb but soon dashed if the size is far to small sometimes i simply buy it never the less just so now and then i can simply feel the material as a sort of comforter i guess...especially when the garment is only a few quid to buy and after all it does help a charity.
After seeing a real fem wearing a unicorn T_shirt i just had to order one quite why this particular bug climbed into my head is unknown,was it because the young fem had big breasts which i cannot have or did seeing her take me back to my teenage years when there was no money in my pocket as the transvestite was a sap rising in my body and mind..i certainly was not sad or confused simply something that happened and having no reason to halt it because it felt so good..Which in the great wide world is Small Stuff and only pink elephants know better...xx

Sunday 21st May2017.

Ouch...double ouch..time to smack hands time to rant across my soul as to why i have not dipped in journal form in the deepness of my Fem side...much has passed in thoughts and safe deeds since i last found time to sit here and contemplate life not so much the slut a subject i do wonder if i will arrive once more at that station perhaps i could label myself as a lazy slut with a big Z...there cannot be a day when i do not think about the dreaded word Cock however practice has been far to lazy.
On other forms of my transvestite life style progress has been made adapted and fondly acquired in my acceptance of whom lives inside me. I have at last found a real female friend whom i can talk about fem stuff which helps to ease the mind when living and working in a Macho context i find myself in for most of the time i walk the planet thankfully to its the small things that build big when added together...and best of all i have made the effort this morning to punch a hole into my mind full of panties bra's and what ever to come and sit here reset my password simply been that long since i opened this page on my life.
With added thoughts across a few words i found wandering around LJ....Happy Sunday or as i like to call it lazy braless bitch in pyjamas day. with a promise to venture this way very sooooooon..xxx

Sunday 19th February 2017.

I sometimes wonder...or should i say each day..should i keep this old girl on the road keep the scribbles rolling along in cyber-space do i wish thousands would read this, is my vanity fooling in living in such hope or is it simply there for passing people from the planet Zog..to ponder over why some males willingly dress up in real ladies clothes..call themselves sissy's when in fact society really wants John Wayne look-a-likes.
Or is it a place to come and ponder why the lust for Brown is always in the back ground..keeping it caged away in some dark corner of the mind is at times so very hard i could quite easily in one lust throw away the key...however the mind is always dangerous when left on its own in such thoughts perhaps best to let it out now and then...i recall when trying to punch away the sissy inside me by bundling up all my clothes and burying them in a dark wood when i was a teenager thinking that would solve the urge to dress as a women..yet only to feel the urge to dress even more demanding growing each day...better to accept being a transvestite than fighting such a red riding hood..
Perhaps then i should stop fighting this blank screen and simply BE.....