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Sunday 19th May 2019.

I greet this Sunday morn...in the hope that this post goes well when i press the magic button to post to this here blog about she whom lives inside of myself to Maturetvslut...though these days mostly mature...which i am perhaps neither sad or lonely about...thankfully i have one or two close friends in the flesh and one or two on line friends i can coarse a few words, to all, whom are real fem's which is a comfort as most days i ask myself the question why indeed was my soul picked to have she living inside of me...i do not have regrets and do indeed now quite enjoy being a transvestite for it has simply just been a question i ask myself to move along into the day.
I had promised myself i would post a good few entries this month alas i don't think it is so much lazy slut more of time has drifted through my fingers as i have had to open close doors on other things which have rolled into my life so far this summer...wow have i really printed the word summer...well i have at least took off one winter layer and soon will have to rest my busted bra during the summer months when in certain company owning to the small fact that my bra straps can be seen through my work shirts and summer t-shirts....for not everyone understands the word transvestite, in this mad world.
Mad is perhaps not really the word i am looking for, for there have been so many wonderful mad people i only have to think of the mad hatters tea party, now there would be a time to dress as a sissy maid...however the world today is so much vindictive than i have ever known it..perhaps i have lived a sheltered life and it has always been there perhaps too living in that 60's dream world of the summer of love 1967 and the Isle of White Pop Festival 1970 and most of my youth which moulded my soul was living on the edge of the urban blight i now find myself amongst. Rather than the fields of green where one could wander blowing dandelion clocks free from hand touching souls and the blight of a Mcdonalds burger wrapper lying in the grass.
One should not drift into melancholy madness for tis but summer the temps have reached the tip of 60F..therefore onwards and upwards for the coming weeks with a promise to myself to once more not let that bitch of time elude myself to sit here amongst the words in my head and my soul amongst the panty draw which keeps her whom lives inside of me in a sort of inner peace...fingers crossed now that these few words post....Zap...

Thursday 9th May2019.

This is simply a test to see if this small scribble works before i pull of my stockings climb into the shower to wash away the world of today....

Friday 3rd May 2019.

The promise of a new day brought the deadly rain drop...by the time i walked out into the world of rain i felt i had wrapped enough clothes around my skin to walk and dance like a Mummy. I am so glad Friday has arrived giving that buzz of a demented caterpillar in a trance dance after a quite bizarre week in the working saddle...now after a shower and throwing my work clothes in the wash basket i feel free enough to give a heavy sigh and thankful i have made it through the world beyond my front door once more.
The month of May..is trickle towards those summer months of splash the wine goblet and smell the flowers in the garden along side the dare to show some bare leg towards the spiders whom roam freely the clock ticks i must be on my way. Love and Peace to all whom pass this way....

Thursday 2nd May 2019.

I have made it to the second day of May which is a big wow...for two days on the bounce as always i scribble this great note....sometimes i can scribble during the early hours other times my mind clouds over...for today i will not be able should i even bother until late at night..it would be a nice thought if i was out in my green dress on my knees sucking cocks but alas i will be working until 10ish arriving before this machine with a heavy sigh around 11ish...therefore if i am going to keep my vanity promise i thought i would sit awhile and pause for thought....on my new green dress which stares at me each day and whisper come on you sissy slut wear me...and bloody well find a fem dom soon. So i shall whisper to myself yes and set myself a target.As i trundle around today in the wide wild world...

Wednesday 1st May 2019.

Something is not quite right in the cabbage patch..also i have promised myself that i would post in this here blank space each day of the month of May...Today i never nearly made to sit here amongst my thoughts...Things i whisper to myself should sometimes be slipped back into my panties..with a hunch and a small sigh...

Easter Monday 22nd April 2019.

I have sunk into that lazy slob mode once more within this blank space...i hope May is better for me to trawl through my mind summer should be starting that is always a boost...hold ups instead of stockings...and i should be able to put saying goodbye to Miss over my shoulder and loose such thoughts in a twisted bra strap and step forward....

Sunday 14th April 2019.

Always carrying a handkerchief and put new bought clothes in the wash...you don't know where they have been or who's worn them is the saying from childhood elders and thus my new two pound green dress is still in the wash basket...it has indeed whispered as i have passed get me out and wear me you Sissy Slut....I think soon as Sissy needs a touch of tenderness in the vanity department. For in the early hours of Saturday morning i sent a text to the Fem-Dom Mistress i have been serving for nearly a year...saying due to certain reasons i withdraw from our relationship...in a nice respectable manner.....i did not tell the real reason or what was inside my soul for i do not think she would have given quite a dam....This was the text sent to me on Friday night night...

I expect a text informing me which train you are on, and i don't want one full of shitty prose about pink shoes just the facts...

I don't have a problem with being dominated by a women for it is what i searched for...but the prose about pink shoes stuck in my head...i think she really needs a house boy...whilst in her service i did not ponse about but did my tasks as best i could sometimes i got praise sometimes i got a beating again that's what i went for...it was simply the what i thought was an attack on being a transvestite that i could not handle in wearing fem clothes the sexual humiliation i could again that is part of being a Sissy...So sadly at the famous blue raincoat hour..i sent a text Goodbye...my big question do i retire from trying once more to find a Miss whom likes transvestites or keep on going and try and find someone...to serve....Sadly i did not even receive a reply...or was that simply to much to expect.

Life is as they say Good night all....

Tuesday 9th April 2019.

I had floated across my mind that the month of April i would try to post every day across this blank screen even if it meant a simple boo...on the day. However her i am on the ninth day thinking oh well the same old better late than never.
The zero sugar in my mind plays strange games...i would like to put it down to the cold weather lingering across the land to say i am tired of it and have to dig deep to move forward without falling into melancholy madness each time i venture out into the mad bleak world of these crazy times.
On a more happier note i have picked up a new dress for a simple two pounds it was one of those guess the size and would it fit...when i tried it on i thought gosh and wow so slutty i could only wear tights underneath and even forget the bra so tight is the dress on me...a sort of dress for wearing on dark nights wandering across the underworld. But for two pounds what the hell at least i felt good when i bought it that feeling which i hope all transvestites feel when buying female clothes in the public view even with the shopkeeper not really giving a toss and thankfully for my vanity i did not want to get on my knees and ferret in his trousers.
Now i hope i have broken the spell on sitting before this blank screen for this month and will endeavour to rise to my thoughts in sitting here...

Sunday 31st March 2019.

Today has been Mothers Day across the land. Best left there in the full stop....as darkness has fallen and the month of March dies on the willow...whilst Sam Lee sings...Lovely Molly...Best too have no regrets...no looking over the shoulder or stepping back...life is as they say say....

Thursday 21st March 2019

Strange dreams during the famous blue raincoat hours of darkness means i am up early from that pit of dreams...quite why goblins stream into my crazy street mix during the night is something i am tired thinking about.Am i the only transvestite whom has such strange dreams or is simply my vanity pulling my panties over my head whilst laughing and giggling only mother earth knows..
I watched a real fem yesterday walk through town in a short skirt with stockings and suspenders on, you could glimpse the suspender straps showing well beneath her skirt hem holding up the stocking tops..i thought wow such a brave picture and stance to take to the streets in...but the real magic was not one person i could notice really cared or turned their heads in disbelief, i also thought wow if only i could dress like that in open air rather than hiding behind a door or simply serving Miss. A big sigh from me and a secret thank you to the fem for giving one, a small hope on the day in sunshine during the equinox.
Earlier in the week a reply from Miss in simple words from Miss giving me permission for once again the pleasure to serve her in April her words so few her strength so weak what a great shame to be so close yet so far away sometimes i do wish for the impossible in thoughts of her greeting me in fishbone and stockings...however small mercies is the lucky bag of life at the moment.