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Sunday 7th July 2019.

Yesterday i arrived back to this tiny shrine of mine where her whom lives inside me hangs her clothes and keeps her panties in a chest of draws. I arrived back from a short trip to London..for there are times when i have to escape from the confines of the brick walled utopia i find myself living amongst to simply sit on a train and dream outside the window as England passes before my eyes...for those few hours watching England roll past looking as if those school boy lessons about just what people fought for over the years were seemingly true.
I also wish i could say that i went down to London for this years Pride but alas this is not true, for i did not even know this weekend was the one.And there were other reasons for this particular trip. I did see a good few transvestites in all forms and all ages and i thought i could really do the trip the light fantastic around the streets carry the flag everybody was waving. One thing it has given me is Hope.

Saturday 29th June 2019.

The year is rushing by at an alarming speed advancing age makes it speed even harder...rushing through the months with no time to pull on my pink panties or busted bra fast enough...however i am well and she inside me has time to at least chuckle from time to time....summer arrives today for one day, time i think for some bubbles in the garden pull of my bra and think wow i have survived another week in this mad world. And a reminder once more to pink myself through these pages in the dance of the curly wood nymphs or else...x

Sunday 23rd June 2019.

Today i stood in the city and watched the Manchester day parade pass before me, it was a comfort during these times of madness in the world, to see so much colour out on the streets the pulsating bands and the mass happiness which drifted along echoing off the old buildings lining the route...i did not catch sight of any transvestites which was rather sad..but never mind the day has been good.

Tuesday 11th June 2019.

The month of June is beginning to shape into a wash out, i have already put one winter layer back on i have even contemplated slipping my tiny nipples back into a bra but have simply settled for a fem vest with a fancy French name i cannot quite spell tonight...i can feel a winters melancholy madness not to far away. It is only pulling on my wrinkled stockings which keeps my smile facing the world in front of this suit i present to the world, from a nightmare on Elm Street somehow that rings a tiny bell for a film classic some years ago, Horror movies are not my best friends i tend to linger over the horror they convey for far to long.
In the past few days past i did sit down and watch The Last Boy Scout...with Bruce Willis and Co...sometimes i wish i had the strength and the physical body of such people, thankfully i do not dwell on such notions for to long..or become jealous of whom they are or the characters they play...for i am what i am and tonight in quite a good frivolous mood with a small touch of horn can't be the weather possibly a touch of chocolate i have craved but perhaps i am simply rambling along which is nothing bad for a Tuesday night..As i had a good stare in the clothes shops today passing through town thinking yes please and charity shops have become a quaint attraction and at least i have sat down tonight and scribbled instead of simply lingering to see if a friend has posted on her blog and sighing when she has not trust me again.

Sunday 2nd June 2019.

Miss Monroe would have been 93...years old yesterday i wonder how she would have looked, what would she make of the world today...and would she have really given a piper's flute about the state of the world today...I have once more let a long slide of hours slip by, before sitting in this seat once more staring at the big white screen and thinking ho-Hum best scribble a few words, again things have roped together folded deep on lazy sod and that gruesome thought tomorrow has grown hedgehog spikes before i sit here now at once more the end of the week.
And Gosh June already...
June is no longer renowned..for the weather context of school boy teaching when June was indeed called flaming June due to the heat waves of those years..these days concrete skies are all the rage and the sun goes on holiday. I once sat on local moortop in June staring across the Manchester Basin at all the life below..it was a time when my real first proper love decided i was no longer whom she thought and amongst the comments was i could satisfy a man rather than a women...the day i sat there was the official day the courts declared..we were no longer an item....now and then those moment flit across the mind the hurt is no longer there and i easily brush aside those moments when they trigger inside my head...i have never been one to slag off old flames i hold no grudges nor look back in anger simply best to take another fork in the wood of Robert Frost's old poem..
Late Friday night i received a text demanding my presence in a certain hotel room....for the saturday morning such short notice is at times all most impossible, however i managed to float the boat, crank up the mind and found some hours, by bus and tram i trundled..each moment as the wheels turned and as i stared out of the window watching the streets and life roll by, thinking do they know where i am going and what i will be performing i asked myself the question why and what the hell am i doing on this Saturday morning when i could have been perhaps in a bookshop down town...
Once in the hotel room it was as if i was not me...the clothes slipped off the hold up stockings came on pulled my thong even tighter to make my clitty seem invisible a simple fem vest was all i had time to plan for..my mouth opened the tiny thing slipped inside, the more i moaned the more i urged growth the harder it grew words fed to my ears..sissy faggot...dirty bitch...take it all...deeper thicker harder and down my throat it slipped each command was obeyed..he told me i was good, his moans and involuntary hip movements told me too the final prized was not wasted inside a condom after riding me, but fed my soul in that taste once tasted one never forgets nor forgives...with all thoughts why indeed were left on the tram and bus rides...
The afterwards is calm i can walk around naked pull on my fem underclothes feel at ease he always asks when was the last time i sucked cock or had been ridden and always the comment your to good to waste...i close the door and down and out into the hotel lobby think wow having made someone happy..i had thought of retiring from seeking out hardness and that gem that taste, springs from it but after Saturday i am not to sure perhaps another year or two....How funny June can be...

Sunday 19th May 2019.

I greet this Sunday morn...in the hope that this post goes well when i press the magic button to post to this here blog about she whom lives inside of myself to Maturetvslut...though these days mostly mature...which i am perhaps neither sad or lonely about...thankfully i have one or two close friends in the flesh and one or two on line friends i can coarse a few words, to all, whom are real fem's which is a comfort as most days i ask myself the question why indeed was my soul picked to have she living inside of me...i do not have regrets and do indeed now quite enjoy being a transvestite for it has simply just been a question i ask myself to move along into the day.
I had promised myself i would post a good few entries this month alas i don't think it is so much lazy slut more of time has drifted through my fingers as i have had to open close doors on other things which have rolled into my life so far this summer...wow have i really printed the word summer...well i have at least took off one winter layer and soon will have to rest my busted bra during the summer months when in certain company owning to the small fact that my bra straps can be seen through my work shirts and summer t-shirts....for not everyone understands the word transvestite, in this mad world.
Mad is perhaps not really the word i am looking for, for there have been so many wonderful mad people i only have to think of the mad hatters tea party, now there would be a time to dress as a sissy maid...however the world today is so much vindictive than i have ever known it..perhaps i have lived a sheltered life and it has always been there perhaps too living in that 60's dream world of the summer of love 1967 and the Isle of White Pop Festival 1970 and most of my youth which moulded my soul was living on the edge of the urban blight i now find myself amongst. Rather than the fields of green where one could wander blowing dandelion clocks free from hand touching souls and the blight of a Mcdonalds burger wrapper lying in the grass.
One should not drift into melancholy madness for tis but summer the temps have reached the tip of 60F..therefore onwards and upwards for the coming weeks with a promise to myself to once more not let that bitch of time elude myself to sit here amongst the words in my head and my soul amongst the panty draw which keeps her whom lives inside of me in a sort of inner peace...fingers crossed now that these few words post....Zap...

Thursday 9th May2019.

This is simply a test to see if this small scribble works before i pull of my stockings climb into the shower to wash away the world of today....

Friday 3rd May 2019.

The promise of a new day brought the deadly rain drop...by the time i walked out into the world of rain i felt i had wrapped enough clothes around my skin to walk and dance like a Mummy. I am so glad Friday has arrived giving that buzz of a demented caterpillar in a trance dance after a quite bizarre week in the working saddle...now after a shower and throwing my work clothes in the wash basket i feel free enough to give a heavy sigh and thankful i have made it through the world beyond my front door once more.
The month of May..is trickle towards those summer months of splash the wine goblet and smell the flowers in the garden along side the dare to show some bare leg towards the spiders whom roam freely the clock ticks i must be on my way. Love and Peace to all whom pass this way....

Thursday 2nd May 2019.

I have made it to the second day of May which is a big wow...for two days on the bounce as always i scribble this great note....sometimes i can scribble during the early hours other times my mind clouds over...for today i will not be able should i even bother until late at night..it would be a nice thought if i was out in my green dress on my knees sucking cocks but alas i will be working until 10ish arriving before this machine with a heavy sigh around 11ish...therefore if i am going to keep my vanity promise i thought i would sit awhile and pause for thought....on my new green dress which stares at me each day and whisper come on you sissy slut wear me...and bloody well find a fem dom soon. So i shall whisper to myself yes and set myself a target.As i trundle around today in the wide wild world...

Wednesday 1st May 2019.

Something is not quite right in the cabbage patch..also i have promised myself that i would post in this here blank space each day of the month of May...Today i never nearly made to sit here amongst my thoughts...Things i whisper to myself should sometimes be slipped back into my panties..with a hunch and a small sigh...