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Sunday 13th OCTOBER 2019.

I am Alive..it has been such a strange two weeks, thank goodness for Paul Simon's birthday today, across the basin of red bricked houses that haunt the corridor streets i pass through daily... " long ago it must be, i have a photograph...preserve your memories there all that's left you.."..love and peace to all..good night...x

Wednesday 9th October 2019.

A little note to myself already the ninth day of October and i have not drifted here for even a few moments...tosh a slight slap on the wrists and must try harder time is simply an egg head ghosts goblins roam inside my head must brush them away.
At least though i have bought some stockings on the small side for as the cold weather draws in time to hide away my hold ups and bring out, dust down, my suspender belts as they give me that fem feeling of being a sissy.

Monday 23rd September 2019.

Monday mornings as dawn rises over the grey slate roofs in this part of the Manchester Basin always brings a wonder, a doubt, of whom i am. A sort of inward weakness of the shroud i wrap around myself against the outside world. It does not matter whether i am in my blue uniform before the saddle of work or simply sitting here in a baby-doll within a wrap around on my last week of annual leave, thinking on one hand Oooooo i should do my nails soon and have i the strength to strut out into the wild world that has become today, without crouching behind every street lamppost i pass.
Hiding away from the world is no option i like, so with those few words onwards
and upwards i paint a mind to capture the week ahead...as Autumn begins to pull the blanket over summers back. I did manage to stroll for an hour around town yesterday amongst the falling rain drops, picked up a couple of cd's from HMV and stood and stared at the clothes shop with the entrance blind tightly closed and has been for a good couple of weeks now so much so i doubt if it will ever open as was again...what will become of the red dress, that stands stares from the window still, whispering to me " Serves you right for not buying me when you had the chance " for really i should have bought at that time will it tease me forever on the wind, will it be thrown in some cardboard box to be recycled in some corner of the world. Most importantly will i learn the lesson to stop stare and buy whilst pennies jingle in my pocket not simply that red dress but other fem clothes which catch my eye. Time now to greet the world pull on my wrinkled stockings and say Boo. So Goeth hugs to all whom pass this way.x

Thursday 19th September 2019.

After three days working down amongst the heaps of things left in the cellar always with the thought of i will sort them out soon as...again time has bitten my bum and some have laid there for a good few months never mind the years. Thus with a handful of stones thrown, i have taken off two weeks leave from wearing my old blue uniform and have given the cellar a good clout and at last there is some sort of reasoning to order within the cellar not quite enough room to have a dance or perhaps swing a cat...but hey i stand amongst it and feel good...two good things came to light a bikini found in a Jack Wills box within a bag within a bigger bag it does not fit and really if i had such a fem body perhaps i just might...but as age creeps down the last nine yards i think not perhaps when i was 18 had the body and hair down to my shoulders to give it a go i might well have done again as always no regrets be thankful for small mercies. On the plus side i found buried 32 bottles of white wine to quaff perhaps sat out in the garden under a log fire now that autumn is drawing in...but we shall see quite now two bottles are resting in the fridge for the weekend ahead...I have also finished reading Derek Jarman's..book Modern Nature...one of the fastest books i have read for a long while i was thinking of reading his other journals but a few lines at the end of the book has quietly said let it rest with this book two things struck me one it was simply written for money and the last line...his will to sit and scribble had left him which made me quite sad and ponder about my own silly scribbles within myself. For i find scribbles through the day help me bring out the softness of being a transvestite rather than the times when someone is shoving a hard cock down my throat as warp factor speed increases as the hard cock want to erupt inside my mouth and that gagging sensation takes over, not that i do not enjoy those times i do and the hunger for such times does not decrease but a touch of softness makes the magic roundabout of being a transvestite still seam yummy..So Goeth...

Wednesday 18th September 2019.

I am deep in the cellar sorting out the host of spiderwebs which have gathered over the years to try and bring some order to the two rooms thankfully i have not found any abandoned wrinkled stockings or torn dresses lying in the corner plenty of bits and bats from my younger days when i was trying to fight off my growing into a transvestite, a battle within myself which i lost. I have found an old witches hat which i always promised myself that one halloween i would indeed go out into the night dressed as a witch especially as my looks are creeping that way..lol...to myself.
Time i think to get back at it my two weeks leave are racing away....So Goeth.

Monday 16th September 2019.

Time is full of pink galleries September is half way through, dark nights draw in a chill on the cheek when out amongst the early dawn brings thoughts more quickly to the mind games rumble, a walk out in a dress the swish of stockings that feeling of wow pulsates in the mind..i have a thousand and one jobs for the next fourteen days time then to pull on my panties and flow with time hanging on to my busted bra straps.

Friday 13th September 2019.

Friday 13th....Ooooo best keep this short....did buy a pair of small high heel shoes pink shoes yesterday from a charity shop for £4.99....perhaps they will bring me some luck on this wicked day....

Saturday 7th September 2019.

Dawn has not quite begun the new day on planet Earth, sleep has evaded me and thus i sit here for a short while to gather my thoughts on where i find my soul on this weekend Saturday, for now i am dressed in comfortable fem, i painted my nails earlier in the week my real fem friend at work noticed my painted nails i was so pleased a girly childish thrill it is only clear varnish but i do like to put on two coats just so there is a small shine.
The shop with the red dress is still closed i was daft enough to snap a picture of it in the window with my mobile phone i don't think it will open again once more a very lesson learned especially as i had some spare pennies in my pocket and the red dress was five pounds....sigh...
The first sign of approaching autumn yesterday time i think to pull out my winter bra's and make sure my stockings are well stocked. I will be writing to the mistress i contacted a few weeks ago just to see how the land lies to see if there is any point of me dreaming of the future in her service her words are very few and somehow butterflies are fluttering across my mind. So hey how see what life brings...x

Wednesday 4th September 2019.

Autumn weather is creeping in rain this morning amongst the rush hour traffic schools back today after the summer break, Christmas cards already in the shops so to next years calendars...I have pulled on my autumn jumpers and cardigans ready for the change in season the bras to work i think will be on by the end of September, stockings as usual i have worn most days even in what heat poured down from the heavens above. Once or twice i thought ouch but i made it through the day what Sissy's simply do makes me smile the odd time.
I made contact with two fem-doms..one is hopeful the other already drifted away from....and the shop with the red dress in the window i think now has sadly closed as i have said on so many occasions some lessons are never learnt must try harder. Time now for a shave cannot have a sissy with any pubic hair now can i...love and peace to all whom pass this way...x

Sunday 1st September 2019.

I sit with a zero can of coco cola....thoughts rain on the word september knowing that the summer months have finished time almost to pull on the vests and busted bras to pull the wrinkled stockings even further up the leg to keep the wolf of winter at bay, my arch enemy will the melancholy madness which hangs from street lampposts on every street corner just waiting for such souls as myself.
I will not even give one finger for this years summer weather it has been only fit for troglodytes to roam around dragon pits dressed in kimono's. I would rate this summer good for having a cock in my mouth especially as i don't walk the streets looking for it. I have bought a few fem clothings and sadly sometimes i do not learn as i should a have bought a red dress i saw in the window..the old lazy sod always tomorrow..fell foul as the shop has not been open these past few days which could mean the end...fingers crossed i hope not.