Good Morning i say to myself,in a whisper,for the world outside my window has not yet quite woken up, the rush of rubber tyre's is only a speckle of sound, a reflection on the day ahead I am sat here with the blank screen of white before me the most haunting picture for me myself being at times well most of the time such a lazy slut the case of always tomorrow so much above the water line that the battle each day has to be fought to move away from the lazy slut mode.
Yesterday i received instructions from Mistress Emma amongst them lay the fact that i am in need of some humility she has found me a large person who has the need for a cum bucket in the shape of a mouth i am to send her time and dates where i will be available to be let this person fill my mouth with the beautiful seed..the daring spectacle is this person likes to use public toilets as i read these instructions i felt my clitty urge itself and that shaky glow...that glow which ignites the body to quiver a feeling where words are lost in the garden of thoughts.
Thoughts also drifted back to those youth days long before i started pulling on stockings before my female mind usurped the whimp of a male inside..i read in one of those soft porno mags i used to spend my pocket money on. A story where a male used to padlock his cock visit public toilets and slip the key to the padlock into the next cubicle..i can recall the feelings which swept over me back then the hours i simply masturbated over such a thought of having one inserted through the tip of my then cock,sometimes the padlock was a wee tiny thing,in the darkest thoughts a heavy padlock which would drag down my old cock the mere thought of slipping my own key under the cubicle is a fantasy that has stayed with me after all these years quite bright in the fantasy room locked inside my head.
Yesterday..two books i have been waiting for arrived in the trusty post..one is about the life of Idina Sackville from the roaring 20's and beyond..i am quite enthralled by those times of the flapper girls so nice the clothes looked, the silky flow..the sepia pictures of those days. The lipstick so brutal brought out by the sepia photograph..if i had a time machine..ohhh to dress in such clothes i had the figure in my teens so often mistook for a girl with my long hair...NOW..aaarrhhh the panto dame fit for slipping into toilet cubicles sucking cocks being used as a cum dump..life in the fast lane side stepping on the walk on the wild side,simply i am far happier now being a transvestite than i have been since those dark days when i really wondered as i stood in Woolworths at the panty counter holding out my money for those two pair of skimpy panties..the look on the girls face and the feeling of jelly legs my own face so bright with redness i could have blotted out the sun on that day the rush home to pull them on started the fight to come to terms with whom i have become..the rush of rubber tyre's is building time to go i have scribbled enough words rush i really want to stop here so easy once the blank screen of white has been tamed.