maturetvslut (maturetvslut) wrote,
maturetvslut
maturetvslut

Sunday 27th June 2010.

I awoke this morning quite woozy from the chardonnay bubbles consumed in the summer sunshine,are they the bubbles of life or simply a screen from the harsh realities of life itself. And in this reality does the word transvestite fall into the word harsh.Or is it a softness i wallow in, yet sometimes do not wish to resound amongst the vibes i feel in this softness,as if some form of guilt still passed down by society in taboos encased in black rocks,niggles in playtime games amongst the crunchy street mix within my day light mind.
Such questions i ask myself each day the sun comes up over the distant hills,the questions filter always arriving to why me..the doubt...the cloak of vanity stalls the dreams and wonderment as to why the pull of female stockings gives me such a rise the pumping of the heart the daredevil advance to walk the streets at night in such a mode as some slut,the lull the pull of some hard cock around the corner..in this giant urban red bricked sprawl containing the mountain of flesh, the barrier of wants hide in basement minds.Do i stalk such a hunger to have a mouth full of cock,the throbbing flesh hard robust and pumping out the rich cream of life,once i first felt such a rush the desire for more became an obsession a burning bur amongst the quilts of my mind.
I really should come to this time warp and sit awhile more often i always say such and each day i sit before this machine ooohhh yes..then other things side swipe and time trickles beyond the reach of my fingers....i sigh and yes maybe tomorrow i might just trip down this midnight world the darkness of female desire letting out the fem side holding out my hand to watch a imaginary butterfly flit out in the scary summer sunshine.
I find summer time the hardest of all seasons to hold my slut femside in any forming shape, the ominous splutter in the fact that my skin is becoming older, more wrinkles, more rich veins showing on my legs i might in the end become some wrinkled stocking,i need to say such things as HA...from my old friend Hugh to keep track to pull in the mind games the doubts and all those cracks i can hide in winters clothes.One thing that has changed this summer i have worn shorts to work, i have to whisper here amongst my fem self as the old male side becomes befuddled if i try and join the two together how he dances such a jig when i have cock in my mouth, in a way i am sure he is jealous..Ha....once or twice i have been asked if i shave my legs..urrmm yes and walk off..leaving such a thought for them to play with amongst the onions in there minds eye....so at least some advancement this year as usually i do not display my bare legs...for a fear of confrontation.
I am thinking of buying a short wig, i have seen some fancy dress ones in deep red and blue's they are cheep and nasty but look awfully good to suck cock in all that flying sperm does not dwell well on long wigs when some cock owner wants to spray all over the face..tut...tut such a waste.I have also bought a body stocking this summer yet to warm to try it on..i fancy just wearing that and short coat if i can pull myself to walk this coming autumn.....
Well i must thank myself for pausing here amongst the deepest of my fem side, sometimes it gets a battering form the male side but if slut stamps her feet enough she gets her way..it is a strange life finding two people spiffy inside myself..i do have doubts yet as i become older at least no regrets...HA...But it also helps to sit awhile the folds of softness unfurl as i gather my paper thoughts to fight amongst the harsh light in the bustle of life.

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